19.5/20

Mechanics: 5

Contents: 5

Organization and Form: 4.5

Richness of Vocab: 5

Great Work! Your writings were really good and straight forwarded. It was interesting enough to make me want to know more about the contents. However, I found one part in 2nd sentence that you can improve more. The conjunction “because” is a word that expresses reasons, and it makes it hard to write body sentences for an already defined statement by because. Therefore, it is better to avoid using “because” in a topic sentence. For example, "Lying is bad in the upbringing of children in many ways." I hope this could help your future writings. Keep up with your good works!